Spoiler alert: I'm getting more "real" in this post than I have ever before. While I'm not a fan of partying on New Year's Eve (I honestly love to be in bed by 9 pm...8 if I'm lucky), I love what the New Year signifies. I love the concept of leaving the last year behind and starting fresh with a clean slate. I'm all about clean slates. 2018 was a mixed bag for me. A lot of really great things happened and a lot of really crappy things happened. But thats life! Nothing is perfect all the time, if it was then it wouldn't be interesting. I had to hit the reset button a few time this year. And thats okay. You don't always have to reset at the start of the year. You can press that dang button anytime. While I may not have accomplished all of my "goals" or reached certain milestones I wanted, one thing I'm sure of is that I really did grow. And sometimes growing is just as good as reaching that milestone. I'm not going to go into the nitty gritty of the good, the bad, and the ugly of 2018 as I think it kind of diminishes the point of the NEW year (why look back and dig into the past when you can just move forward?), but to be totally cliché and like every other blogger out there I wanted to share my goals for 2019 with you all. It also will hold me accountable...I tend to procrastinate or cheat on my to do list, so making this public might help keep me straight.
1. Apprendre à parler français. I know I'm not going to become fluent in one year (my five years of french can tell you that), but I certainly can get better. Besides art, french was my favorite subject in school. I had the best teachers who not only challenged me, but made learning french so much fun. They also introduced me to my hot husband TEN (!!!) years ago. Anyways, I'm really bummed to have "misplaced" (I don't want to say "lost" because I know its in my brain somewhere) all the french I learned in school, but I have a great live-in teacher now who can hopefully re-teach me the basics because my brain literally just vomits whenever I'm supposed to answer a question in french...
2. The oh-so-cliché "get into shape and stay there", but both physically and mentally. I use that phrase loosely. I'm happy with the way I look. I was happy with the way I looked when I was 10 pounds lighter and also 5 pounds heavier. I had a really big issue with body image and what people thought of how I looked all of high school and somewhat in college. It wasn't until I went to grad school that I really understood that honestly, no one gives a crap what you look like. I'm the only one who cared. So not so say I stopped caring about my appearance (because thats reserved for hitting rock bottom), I just started focusing on what I liked about how I looked and BOOM - my self confidence did a complete 360. I know I'll never have a 6 pack (and honestly why would I try? Bread is amazing and I will never give it up), I am going to be better about getting to the gym and trying to eat more disgusting vegetables. Mentally, 2018 was drainnnnnnINGGGG. I had to get a therapist and basically could not live without her...then I made a big change in my life and got myself out of a bad situation mid year and slowly turned into myself Julie-freaking-Andrews twirling and singing on the side of an Austrian mountain by the end of the year. I got into a really great headspace and finally started feeling like myself again after mostly being in a dark hole for a year and a half. So here's to saying so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye to the bull crap of 2018 and to bringing that Julie Andrews energy with me into 2019.
3. Fuel my fire. Sounds sexy, right? In 2018, my literal passion for EVERYTHING I once loved doing just flat out died. I barely posted on the blog, I think I read one book, my creativity went into hibernation, and I literally just became a boring sad sack. When you have to be creative full time for a living and your creativity is constantly stifled, it just drains any desire you have to be creative on your own time. But that pity party has partied itself out and 2019 is coming up all MADISON. I have so many creative things I am working on and planning this year, I seriously can't wait. I'm excited to get back into blogging even if my mom is the only one who reads anything I post on here (hi mom!). I have the longest list of books I can't wait to get lost in. I have a HUGE secret project I am hoping to launch in the fall that I'm pouring my soul into and hope you all love. So stay tuned. I promise I'll share more when everything is ready.
With each of these goals comes a million little goals and milestones to reach. If I even accomplish HALF of them, 2019 will be the best year yet. I hope its just as great for you. And if you have to hit that reset button in a couple of months, who cares. I promise I'll be right there with you. So cheers to new beginnings, a clean slate, and starting over. HAPPY NEW YEAR!